The Goblins if the Kitchen

When Stank was a young gobbo, younger than he is today, (but older than most ants I mean), he always dreamed of becoming a cook.

Not a fancy chef like in the restaurants in Calistas Citadel, but just a cook. Someone who made food for others to enjoy, even if it wasn't perfect.

And let's be honest... Most of the time it wasn't perfect. Stank tried his best, but remembering how to make stuff is hard! Harder than smashing rocks together at least. (That was his brother's job.)

But let me tell you, Stank learned a recipe or two. Got good at chopping carrots, onions and potatoes (not big chunks for non lethal slingshots, but not so small like you'd smashed it with a club... Just the right size for stew.) and even learned some important cook stuff, like "seasoning" NEVER comes from the grease trap!

However, nothing can ever be easy. First, have you ever tried to get a job preparing food when your name is "Stank"? Not easy. No one hires a "Stank" except for Stanky jobs, like gutter cleaner, poop shoveler or Blue Buffkin cheese sniffer. Those are good jobs for them named Stank.

People want their cooks name to be "Pierre" or "Roosevelt" or something like that. No one hire "Stank". But you know what people do want?

• They want their cooks to wake up early so food is ready for breakfast. Stank wakes up early.
• They want their cooks to stir the pot so the porridge doesn't burn at the bottom. Stank likes to stir, round and round, weeeee!
• They want their cooks to invent magic tiny train network that delivers food from the kitchen straight to their home, school or business, so food arrives easy and cheap. Stank invent tiny train network that runs through all of Blue Wizard Bastion!

And so, Stank made his own kitchen, because no one hires Stank. In the kitchen in the Great Library, Stank wakes up early, stirs porridge, delivers food by tiny magic train to feed all Blue Wizards and their friends. Stank have so many orders, that he has to hire more cooks to work with him. Warrior #3263 likes ham, so Stank hire Guldar to make the ham...Warrior #10965 likes to do the gardening, so Stank hire Warrior #10965 growing the food in the garden. Pipes keep getting plugged up with ham bones, so Stank hire Warrior #617 to unclog the pipes.

Uvlius thinks Stank should take a day off, because he work so hard. But Stank likes to work! He MUST work! Everyone keeps getting hungry! All the days. Not just the Sun days or the rain days. But all the days they want food.

Is it the best? No. What cafeteria food is? It's not the best. That's okay. But whenever people sit down to lunch, maybe Jim and Larry are having lunch together for example, you can hear them ask: "Hey Jim" say if perhaps Larry was asking Jim, "You like the lunch today?" And then Jim would reply to Larry and say: "It Stanks!"

And that means that Stank has done his job!

So next time you sit down to a meal that is food, but not the best, smile and say to yourself: "hey! This Stanks!"

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