THE BOAT RIDE SUCKED

Wherein Zagan and Black Betty travel to Wizard Spa island

Gah! Spat out Zagan. Bleark. Oooough.

Zagan had already deposited the contents of his stomach into the southern seas some hours earlier, but this was not preventing his body from wracking itself with dry heaves.

Black Betty nervously tapped her hooves and considered climbing into the rigging.

No girl, stay down here with me. You know your old hips can't take that climb.

BLLLuuuugh. Oooooh.

You just remember what that old fairy told us. A few days soaking in those emerald pools and bathing in that magical radi-whatever and you'll be up in trees again like a young goat.

Black Betty was not convinced. The boat ride had sucked unto this point, verily, sucked so hard. And it would continue to sucketh. Black Betty butted her head into the sweaty stomach of her companion, working her horns between the leather straps of his ridiculous outfit and his sour, moldering flesh.

Can I interest you noble sir in some light reading to pass the remaining time en route? - without waiting for an answer, the attendant shoved a clay tablet into Zagan's hands and continued along the deck.

Bork. Ooh. Oh no. Bleeegh.

Zagan dropped the tablet as he fell to his knees, convulsed in a new round of nausea. Black Betty curiously scanned the tablet as her friend continued his tribulations.

Bam! Black Betty rammed Zagan straight in the buttocks. Bam! Again to knock him flat down.

By the shades of battle, Betty!

Ignoring Zagan's outburst, Black Betty pushed the tablet in front of his face and stood on his back. Inches away from the cryptic runes, Zagan spat some stomach acid onto the tablet.

You know I can't read, Betty! By Dorghelm's limp penis I will break your hips myself if I ever survive this cursed boat!

Betty jumped off and tapped the tablet impatiently. The black goat scampered off and returned shortly, butting the surprised deck attendant along in front of her. Through a series of stomps and head butts, the attendant eventually worked out that Betty wanted him to read the tablet to Zagan.

Welcome to Wizard Spa! Refresh yourself with these simple rules of the spa to make sure all our guests have a safe and relaxing experience.

Rule 1: No animals allowed in the spa. Please check your animal companions in at the front desk for our complementary pet boarding service...

The clay tablet flew out into the water and skipped across the surface twice before slowly rotating under. The attendant followed, screaming.

No animals allowed? No animals, you hear that Betty? I would like to see them try. By the Crack of Grozar, I would like to see them try!

Betty nuzzled her head happily against the assless leather chaps of her friend.

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