A Night at the Chuckle Palace

(Fade in.)

(We open on a castle entrance with a sign posted above which reads: “WELCOME TO THE CHUCKLE PALACE: OPEN MIC!”)

(Pan down to a bevy of warriors/wizards/bugbears are lined up in front of the entrance as Guy Conqueror of the Citadel inspects each person before ushering them inside. There's excitement in the air.)

GUY CONQUEROR OF THE CITADEL
Two brew minimum.

(Cut to inside the palace, packed with patrons, an eclectic mix, all seated at a table on the main floor. There’s a bar in the corner. A stage in front adorned with a microphone.)

Sorcerer Remus of the Bastion, our MC for the night, takes the stage.

SORCERER REMUS OF THE BASTION
Yo! Yo! Yo! Welcome to the Chuckle Palace opening night. I’m your MC Sorcerer Remus of the Bastion.

(SFX: An elephant trumpeting in the background)

SORCERER REMUS OF THE BASTION
Don’t forget there’s a two brew minimum for each ticket. If it is not honored you will be tortured and hung by thy neck.

(A tense beat. Then… changing the subject matter–)

SORCERER REMUS OF THE BASTION
Has anyone heard the rumors about the Queen? Have you heard about the Queen buying a chastity belt, or as the king refers to it, sleeping on the couch.

(SFX: Crickets.) (This guy sucks.)

SORCERER REMUS OF THE BASTION
Okay, grand merci! Grand merci! Let’s bring your first stand up of the night. Arch-magician Finn of the platonic shadow!

(Tepid applause. Onto the stage comes ARCH-MAGICIAN FINN OF THE PLATONIC SHADOW.)

ARCH-MAGICIAN FINN OF THE PLATONIC SHADOW
Thanks. I just flew in from Elysian Fields and boy are my arms tired.

(SFX: Crickets.)

ARCH-MAGICIAN FINN OF THE PLATONIC SHADOW
Phew! Is it hot in here or is it just me?

(Ouch. He’s really flailing.)

ARCH-MAGICIAN FINN OF THE PLATONIC SHADOW
Uh, has anyone seen my car keys… Last time I lost them they wound up in the Darkness Slayer’s beard.

(SFX: ba dum tss)

*The crowd is not loving it. A single boo reigns out. *

ARCH-MAGICIAN FINN OF THE PLATONIC
How dare you?! I curse you peasants–

(Sorcerer Remus of the Bastion retakes the stage and grabs the mic.)

SORCERER REMUS OF THE BASTION
Let’s give it up for Arch-Magician Finn of the Platonic.

(Tepid applause.)

SORCERER REMUS OF THE BASTION

Next let’s summon up to the stage…one of my favorite comics on the road… from Death Comedy Brands…. Adept Fark of the Road!

(SFX: Hoot! Hoot! Hoot!)

Adept Fark of the Road takes his place on stage. He launches into an animated routine, full of energy–

ADEPT FARK OF THE ROAD
What's the deal with horse drawn wagon peanuts? Have you seen the size of these things? And could these things taste any worse? Like the smell of horse manure wasn't bad enough. Can we get some bigger and better peanuts back here?!

(An extremely long silence, followed by a chorus of boos and hissing. Once again Sorcerer Remus returns to the stage.)

SORCERER REMUS OF THE BASTION
Good stuff. Alright, next welcome to the stage… (reading off cue card) Masturbator Louis of the Sacred Pillars. Wait, that can’t be right. 
 (On cue Masturbator Louis of the Sacred Pillars takes the stage and jumps into his routine.)

MASTURBATOR LOUIS OF THE SACRED PILLAR
Go s**k a bag of d***s

(The lights start flashing in the back, signaling the time is up.)

SORCERER REMUS OF THE BASTION
Alright, will you look at that? I’m afraid that brings us to the end of the show. Don’t forget to follow me, SorcererRemus69 on TikTok.

(SFX: An elephant trumpeting in the background)

Remember to tip your wenches and the evening show is later than the afternoon. Don’t forget to validate your parking ticket and we’ll see you next time. Goodnight and godbless!

(The crowd boos, files out drunkenly.)

(Fade out.)

Starring:
Wizard #1810
Warrior #295
Wizard #8642
Wizard #8710

Entered by: 0xbdA5…E5eC and preserved on chain (see transaction)