Just My Luck
The Story of Urlok
"And STAY OUT!" the innkeeper shouted as the Urlok fell face first in the mud of the road.
The cold rain and wet road was enough of a shock that Urlok sobered up, with a start, wiping the puddle from his face. His head spun and he felt like he was going to be sick. 18 Goblin Brews will do that to you.
A wagon went by, just as he wretched all over the road, slashing his own vomit and the mud water back into his face.
"I need a drink." Was all he could say to himself.
The Brown Wizard Delta was always wet this time of year. But this year was particularly damp. All the good spots to hide out for a night were either soaked, or completely flooded out. "Farmer Maggot said he'd kill me if he found me in the pig pen again... But only if he can catch me... I'll just hit the road early." Urlok mumbled to himself.
But it already was early. He'd passed out at the bar, having drank away all the money he'd gotten from pawning his sword and armour. No one was hiring mercs these days anyway, so who needed em?
Only a few hours remained before dawn and Urlok's head was pounding already.
....
The pigs were warm and cozy to snuggle with, but when Urlok opened his eyes, he could see the sunrise streaming through the cracks in the barn boards already. The chicken were clicking loudly, which must have meant Maggot was up and feeding them.
Slinking out the pig flap, he trodded off, hopped the fence and climbed the dike, disappearing into the marshy bush, down by the river.
To call the Reilly River, just a river, sells it short. Nowhere in the Runiverse would you find another remotely of its size.
It's banks were normally a kilometre across, during the low season. But in the flood year like this? It would be 5 kilometers or more. Drok's Crossing is probably completely underwater right now, flooded out as the rising river overflowing the causeways side walls.
It was the power of this epic waterway that brought life down into the delta. The rich sediments carried down from the mountains in the north were said to have special powers. The glaciers in the north had something magical about them and some of that magic came down in the spring meltwater, carried out, over the flood delta, across the brown wizards fields, into the reservoirs and retaining ponds. This, along with the mechanical & magical creations of the brown wizards, helps create the rich crops and oddly intelligent livestock we see throughout the brown wizard delta and down, into Cumberland.
It's even said that the creatures of Cumberland owe their ancestry to these waters and their magic. When you hear wizards say "there's something in the water." You now know what they mean.
Urlok made his way through the bush and brush, looking for the dock. "Damn that farmer where does he tie up his boat in flood season?" But Urlok couldn't find the boat anywhere. "Chad Sack! Where is it?" He raged.
"You won't find it." Urlok groaned, recognizing the farmers calm & peaceful voice. The Brown Wizard stood, staff in hand, pointed squarely at Urlok. "I told you: be gone, or YOU'D be gone... But you just couldn't help yourself could you?"
Even though Urlok was in no shape to fight, he instinctively reached for his sword anyway. His hand felt only his belt. "You pawned it, you drunken fool, remember?" Urlok froze, racking his foggy brain: how the hell was he going to get out of this one.
He turned to face his the wizard. "listen, Magot, you don't understand, there's been a misunderstanding..."
A blast of brown mud shot forth from the Wizards staff knocking the Urlok to the ground winding him. "save it, I'm not interested." The farmer hissed, wiping some splattered mud from his overalls. "My ominous threat clearly didn't get through your thick skull, so now, you've got to live with the consequences... Good bye you miserable creature." Magot lowered his staff again, taking aim at the Goblin.
Urlok looked up, staring deep into his executioners eyes, and he broke, "Please! Please no... I want to live!"
Zwapt!
A bolt of green, brown light shot forth from the staff, and Urlok could feel the muddy grass under him begin to move and grow, reaching around him, binding and constricting him. The grass and vines grew tighter and tigher. "This is it, this is how it ends for me!" Thought Urlok. He closed his eyes and gave in, waiting for the end. And waiting... And waiting...
The silence was broken by hearty laugh from Magot. Not an evil laugh of a murder killing the helpless, but a roaring belly laugh of a joker. "You think I would let you off so easy? No no no, the Shadows shall not take you today Urlok... Your destiny is MUCH worse... You are to be given to the River! Reilly take you!"
And with that command, the grasses and reeds that had wrapped him lifted him up, floating on the flooded field, creating a magical raft of reeds, and drifting him out, over the landscape, into the wide, quick moving stream of the massive river.
"Wait! No! Stop! Come back! You can't do this to me! Please! Foxes fury, bring me back! Magot! Chad sack, GET ME OUT OF HERE!" Urlok's shouts and cries for help faded as the wizard chuckled to himself, turning, heading back to his farm.
"Ahoy! Yes, grab it, grab it!" Rusty, the battle penguin was always on the lookout for loot... The high River brings more gifts than a low tide during skull crab season!
The penguin leaned over the side of the ship, looking eagerly as the ship hands threw a line to snare the odd floating raft. The delta ducks that had nested on the odd raft honked and flew away, angrily. "What in Chimeras name is this mess?" The penguin puzzled.
The tangled ball of grasses, river weed and mud that was Urlok was pulled aboard and dumped on the deck. "Bugbears balls! I think it's alive!" The penguin exclaimed, kicking the Urlok in the side of the head. The blob groaned. "Unwrap it! Unwrap it!" The penguin squealed with glee, "Its like a Treasure Trove on Wizmas morning!" The sheer mystery of it all was almost more than the tiny snow bird could handle. "Get the Captain too! He's going to want to see this!
The crew just about had poor Urlok untangled and upright by the time Arkol arrived on the deck. The Goblin was a mess, but alive and awake, barely.
"Rusty, this better be good! I was in the middle of something!" Warrior #11988, a goblin captain of massive stature, came around the mast of the ship and looked down upon the disheveled Urlok. Arkol stopped, dead in his tracks. The two Goblins stared at eachother for a long, uncomfortable moment. "Imps mischief..." Arkol was at a loss for words.
Urlok couldn't believe his dumb, stinking luck. Of all the miserable ways to end up. That damned wizard couldn't have been more right: death would have been a favour... Urlok wiped the river weed from his face and broke the silence.
"Hello little brother..."
To be continued...
Written by MeepleDad, artwork generated by AI.
Entered by: 0x6809…e343
