Boris Paragon of the Underground #4477

In the dingiest depths of the metropolitan subway system, where lost tourists wander and commuters dare not tread, rules Boris, the self-proclaimed Guardian of Public Transit Etiquette. His gleaming bald head, polished to mirror-like perfection with the same dedication one might maintain a sacred blade, serves as both a beacon of hope and a highly effective emergency light source during power outages. The legendary sword he carries, nicknamed "The Monthly Pass," was forged from melted-down subway turnstiles and sparkles with the collective rage of a thousand stuck MetroCards. Despite his intimidating stature and perpetual scowl, Boris's true passion lies in maintaining proper escalator etiquette and ensuring an orderly queue during rush hour. His most famous decree: "You want stand left side of escalator? In my underground, straight to jail." The local commuters revere him as "The Manspreading Destroyer" and "He Who Makes People Take Off Their Backpacks In Crowded Trains." Though the transit authority officially denies his existence, they secretly celebrate the 50% reduction in people holding subway doors and playing music without headphones. His finest hour came during the Great Subway Pizza Incident of 2024, when he managed to protect a stranger's fallen slice while simultaneously organizing an impromptu underground chess tournament between delayed passengers. The rats of the underground have learned to respect his authority, forming orderly lines behind the yellow platform edge and always remembering to offer their seats to elderly rodents.

Entered by: 0x1697…778F and preserved on chain (see transaction)