Get out of here!

hic

You don’t deserve to know these tales, you thitiful pief!

You wouldn’t believe the adventures I’ve traveled or the travels I’ve told!

I’ve stolen gold from poor men and secrets from kings. I’ve tasted the tears of the fiercest killers and I’ve written a bible for a priest.

Look at you, probably not believing me, shaking in your boots if you do.

hic

You can leave now.

hic

But that’ll cost you extra.

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