“And Then There Were Seven”

A Beast Spawn Garden Party

It was a rare sunny day in the garden of the Great Library. The scent of overgrown basil and sun-warmed book mold hung in the air like a forgotten potion ingredient. One by one, the Beast Spawns had returned from their latest misadventures—some victorious, some slightly more singed than others—but all under the vague impression that something important was supposed to happen.

So far? Nothing.

“Ugh, if I knew we’d just be loitering, I would’ve never come back,” muttered the Bugbear Bastard, cracking his knuckles. He had been pacing a worn track into the garden path, every stomp sounding like someone dropping an encyclopedia set onto a brick floor.

“I am loitering,” said the Slime Spawn, who was spread across a decorative sun chair like a sentient fruit jelly. “It’s called recovery, Bugboy.” He sipped his lemonade.

The Fox Spawn didn’t reply. He was too busy shuffling a suspiciously weathered deck of cards with flair that suggested he might’ve just palmed the White Wizard again. His tail twitched every time the Bugbear stomped too close.

Under the shade of an enormous whisperleaf tree, the Chimera Cub was sprawled belly-up, gently snoring. Occasionally a feather would fall off his lion-dragon-goat rear end and flutter to the grass, only to be immediately claimed by the Impling.

Who was, it should be noted, very busy.

“Almost… got it…” the Impling whispered, standing atop a precariously stacked tower of compost bins, using a ladle and a broken spoon as improvised lockpicks on the fertilizer shed. The shed, as always, was magically sealed to prevent exactly this sort of tomfoolery.

Meanwhile, the Cockatrice Egg sat in the middle of the garden. Doing what eggs do. Existing. Judging.

“Honestly,” grumbled the Bugbear, again, “where is that damn Kelpie? We’ve been back for days. DAYS!”

As if summoned by the weight of collective frustration, a glug-glug-glunk echoed from the stone canal that ran beside the garden. The water churned. Bubbles rose.

And then—clank!

Up rose a brass diving bell, old and dented, absolutely not rated for modern safety standards. Its portholes fogged, and then—click—the hatch opened.

Out stepped a the Kelpie Spawn, in mermaid form. Her head protected in her water-filled diving bell helmet. She waved with awkward enthusiasm.

“Sorry I’m late,” she said, voice echoing through the helmet like a carnival ride operator stuck in a well.

The Egg slowly rotated in place. “Who the hell are you? And where’s Kaos?”

“Oh!” she said, bubbling slightly. “I’m Marelle! Kaos got promoted. He’s teaching at the Kelpie Academy now I think... I was sent to fill in! I’m the new aquatic presence on the team.”

“Kaos never got us a diving bell,” muttered the Slime, unimpressed.

“I miss Kaos,” said the Chimera Cub in his sleep.

Before anyone could argue further, a door creaked open and Wizard #6730 appeared at the top of the stone steps. He was holding two scrolls, a quill, a clay mug, and an aura of stressed-out academic avoidance.

“Oh good, you’re all here,” he said with the energy of someone who had tried to hide in the archives and failed. “I know you’re expecting, like, a mission or an assignment or a magical peril to throw yourselves into.”

The Bugbear leaned forward.

“Well… the market’s down.” Uvlius looked grim.

Everyone blinked.

“What market?” asked the Fox.

“You know... The market,” Uvlius said, vaguely gesturing to the sky, or possibly the metaphysical concept of fate. “Anyway, funding’s a little tight. No new contracts yet. So you’ll just… have to wait.”

The Impling groaned and accidentally set off a minor stink trap on the shed door.

“To keep you entertained,” Uvlius continued, tossing a few decks onto the grass, “I’ve brought… cards.”

The Slime perked up. “Ooooh, Runes TCG?”

Uvlius nodded, already backing away toward the safety of bureaucracy.

The Chimera Cub sat up. “Do we have to pay to open boosters this time?”

“Technically yes,” said Uvlius, halfway through the exit. “But I’ve charged it to the Garden Maintenance budget. Don’t tell the sentient roses.”

And with that, he was gone.

The beasts all stared at the cards.

Then, slowly, the Egg inched forward.

“Alright,” it said. “I’m in. But if Kaos comes back, I want my foils refunded.”

The diving bell made a happy bloop, and the new Beast Spawn family of seven settled in for a long wait, a few rounds of Runes TCG, and at least one accidental garden fire before the day was through.

Written by MeepleDad with some help from the Loracle

Entered by: 0x2c93…020f